Adventures With Grandmother, Anecdotes of Adelaide

Grandmother and Pinky

These two were many years apart in age but somehow met at the exuberant stage of anyone under 5.

I barely knew my mother-in-law when Pinky was born.  I was terrified of her disapproval (mid-atlantic accent, perfect manners, patrician code talk) and only started to relax when I caught her watching Lucas, the ancient, arthritic family dog, be knocked down by a swinging door and laughing hysterically. She was not as proper as she seemed.

 I shared the problem with inappropriate laughter and, in fact, was unable to stop myself from laughing when she told me she'd almost had her leg amputated and I realized her nickname, Peggy, would be perfect, luckily she got the joke.

Her first present to Pinky was a huge antique teddy bear dressed in a pink onesie wearing rabbit ears and carrying an Easter basket, the first wonderful extravagant gift for the incubator imprisoned granddaughter.  In the basket a pretty musical mobile that played a French children's song.  Those days were so stressful that that act of kindness was charming and silly in the nicest way, and met with tears of gratitude.
 

You Try IT

Her charm was so great that she caused me to volunteer to make 150 origami lobsters for a cocktail party on the beach.  Her parties were wonderful.  She rocked her social set by having an Ice Storm party complete with couples high jinks and a game of Pin the Bra on the Naked Girl.


 She attended every birthday party and if there was a theme she would honor it.

Arabian Days, Grandmother on Left, Aunt Elizabeth on Right

   
Oh how wonderful her presents were.  

At Easter we would all go to Fishers Island.  It would be cold with gale force winds.  That meant that the ferry would take the long route and you would spend an hour and a half hurling over the railing.  

Finally we got to the safe, warm house with the view of frothy white caps and perhaps one intrepid or foolish sailor.  (How wonderful is the scent of a cold house warming up?  You can feel happy just imagining it)  After bags and food were put away, everyone would settle around the fireplace with chilly vodka martinis.  Pinky's grandfather shared a pouring style with the helper at her flamenco party--at the end of an evening you were definitely over served. 

Miss Pauley (their sometime cook and housekeeper) would appear with a Martha Washington casserole hot from the oven and her spicy cheese biscuits, Batons de Fromage (requested in infinite quantities by all who tasted them). Through what everyone speculates was an alcoholic buzz, she would produce delicious meals.  

I've digressed.  The point is, at Easter we would come to breakfast and there would be a feast of chocolate  - eggs, bunnies, jelly beans, giant Italian Chocolate Eggs that held a favor, think of a pretty big metal sports car, for example.  
 

Tip of the Iceberg

Grandmother's specialty was excess.  

She is responsible for the life sized plush llama, the kayak, the fantastic gigantic English rocking horse, a troll doll as big as a three year old, and a mean little pony that we ironically named Emily Post who would bite and kick whenever possible.

Very Large Horse

This chapter exists, however, to tell the story of two of her most notable "grandmother as babysitter" moments.

Looking Deceptively Angelic

You have already been introduced to Pinky's first best friend, Adelaide Richards.  When the two of them were together they were the devil's army.

When Pinky and Addie were about 2 years old we left them for an hour with Grandmother  while the four parents did some much deserved lunching.  When we got back we found Grandmother sitting in the playroom watching the two girls.  They were totally naked, shiny, and covered in kitty litter.  It was indescribably shocking.  Here is the explanation: they wanted to be fairies and saw the cat litter as glittery - gypsum?.  They intelligently decided to use butter to stick it to themselves, a first sign of the genius lurking within.  Grandmother apparently egged them on and was very amused, mostly by how our faces looked when we saw the nudists.

Asleep on the Llama and Grandfather

Her next special time took place when she kindly offered to watch Pinky at Fishers Island for 36 hours while I greeted the moving vans in NYC bringing our belongings back from England.  This was the first time for a sleepover sans staff to help out.  I gave many nervous instructions then waved good by.  When I called that evening everyone was cheerfully watching TV in the den and had nothing to report.  That was very calming. 

 I finished up by lunchtime the next day and was able to make the 4 o'clock ferry.  The trio of Grandmother, Grandfather and Pinky met me at the boat and they were all in their pajamas.  Uh oh.  The two "adults" cagily dismissed the strange attire and it was only later, when I got Pinky alone, that I heard the rest of the story.  They had all been watching TV and fallen asleep in their day clothes, spending the night - all of them - on chairs in front of the TV.  Hence the logical (?) reversion to pajamas for the daytime.  I don't remember what was served for dinner, but Pinky was thrilled that she had a cold hot dog for breakfast.

A little extra about Adelaide.  She is still in the doghouse with Pinky for chewing the toes off of her Barbie.  She and Pinky asked Dick and her father Alden what they had done when they were roommates out of college.  They didn't get the gist of the question, so Addie clarified by asking if they cleaned rooms, dusted, made beds.  She and Pinky thought they had called themselves room maids.

 

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